Kendra’s 7 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner in Motherhood (Episode #19)

Will I ever feel like myself again?

It’s something you might contemplate in those early months (or years) postpartum. Today we’re here to tell you that you will.

It will take less time if you get help (wink, wink) but it WILL take some time. Just like it takes time to grow a baby, it takes time to grow into your new identity as a mother.

In the next two episodes, we’re talking about the 14 things we wish we knew earlier on in motherhood. In this one, Kendra tackles seven, and in the next, Nicole will share seven more.

Hindsight is 20/20, and between us – Kendra (whose kids are ages 9 and 5) and Nicole (whose kids are 14 and 10) – we have a lot of wisdom to share. Our hope? To help other moms in those difficult, early stages of motherhood.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• How pushing things too fast or too hard postpartum might only drag your recovery out – plus, what Kendra learned after the birth of her second child

• Paying better attention to what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, how it’s feeling, and why the paradigm of “no pain, no gain” doesn’t apply

• Giving ourselves more grace in the early throes of parenthood and strengthening the “asking for help” muscle

• Building our safety nets/rescue boats BEFORE the boat starts sinking – i.e., before we need them (and how these “nets” change as kids get older)

• Awareness about our emotional maturity regarding sadness/happiness/anger – and how it can help when our kids experience those emotions

• The impact our well-beings have on how we show up for our kids

Notable Quotes from Kendra

“Kids grow very slowly, and so we can grow as mothers slowly, as well. We can grow alongside them. And I think, for me, being a Type A – like, ‘I need everything now’ – I was really, really hard on myself. And I wish I had given myself more grace, because of the amount of pressure and the amount of things that were coming at me all the time, and which come at mothers all the time. All of us – we all experience it.”

“Oftentimes, there can be a lot of guilt wrapped up in taking care of ourselves or taking time for ourselves. I totally get it. And I also know that we have to start unraveling that. It needs to change because we cannot be well ourselves if we are guilted into thinking that we can't take time for ourselves. A shopping trip to Target by yourself is not enough. It's really like making a list of things. And it's not bad. And it's not eating chocolate. It's not those things. It's the things that really bring you joy and really make you reconnect to your deepest self.”

“The seventh thing that I wish I knew earlier about motherhood was that it is possible to feel like myself again. But it takes time. I would eventually start to feel like my pre pregnancy self physically and mentally and emotionally. But it does take time. You know, we have this societal expectation that we're supposed to be healed in six weeks, or healed in six months. Everybody's like, how long does this take? It takes as long as it takes. But it also takes time.”

Resources & Links

Looking for support to stay active during your pregnancy or start your postpartum recovery? Here are some options to get you started on a great path forward:

1) Take the Pelvic Floor & Core Strength Quiz. After taking the quiz, you'll get a score and based on your results, guidance on what steps to take to move you forward in your recovery.

2) Check out our podcast listening guides: Download the Pregnancy Listening Guide or Postpartum Listening Guide.

3) If you're pregnant, want to be way more active than you have been, AND want connection with other mothers, but don't know where to start…join the Expecting to Flourish™ Membership - a mom-driven and expert-guided virtual space empowering moms with a new approach to prenatal fitness and birth prep that actually prepares you for the physical and emotional hurdles of motherhood.

If you’re postpartum and ready to get moving, need to heal your body but you don’t know where to start…join us for Postpartum Repair & Restore LIVE, a science-backed and fun-stacked, Diastasis and Pelvic Floor Strength program. Start healing your diastasis and eliminating leaking in 8 weeks or less with our guidance.

4) Do you prefer working one-on-one, or have a high risk pregnancy, a severe diastasis or leaking that won’t quit? You might be a candidate to work with us privately. To find out, take this quick self assessment! If you qualify, you'll be invited to schedule a complementary Postpartum Strategy Session with us where we'll take a good look at what's not working in your repair process, and come up with a great plan just for you.